Censorship. ~ 5.2o.o9

My tv isn`t clear and my radio`s fuzzy,

but it`s not reception that isn`t giving me what I wanna hear.

It`s the media and everything they omit,

never wanting to show us the real grit.

Here in this country we get freedom of speech,

but what about when a newscaster makes

exercising it his profession,

except all he really wants to do is suck

money like a leech?

Everyone thinks education will teach you

about your rights, but it`s more like

someone`s turned off the lights.

All that we get to hear is what won`t

cause any fear, but then how

are we supposed to learn from past mistakes

or do we genuinely want to prevent

the next genocide, or even a future

apartheid?

Flying ~ 5.3.o9

i lie awake,
gazing at the moon,
wondering what you`re dreaming of,
wondering what you`re thinking of,
if you`re gazing back,
if it`s
me.

you open my mind,
guiding me to explore that which hides in the crevices of it,
those which i never even knew existed.
you make me feel like
yet another world awaits,
ready to be undiscovered by
us.

you make me want to fly
away to it together,
so that we can listen and talk
in turn, for endless hours
without a single care.
i once asked you if you knew that
there is more than one kind of love,
but did you know that there is really only one?
for me, it`s
you.

GUESS WHAT.

I found out there`s finally something at school not blocked
by our internet that i actually like to do;
Blogging!
Yee, I`m excited now...
maybe I`ll update it more from here on(:
Kthxbai.

Animosity - 3.2o.o9

MUST BRAIN DUMP BEFORE ALL PRECIOUS THOUGHTS SLIP OUT OF MY GRASP.

Eye for an eye, great minds think alike, be the change you want to see.

Today I am changed.

This is cos of The "Laramarie" Project.

Matt Shepherd OBSESSION...not in the way you think.

Oh the irony. Yes, this is a form of delirium

SLEEP DEPRIVATION VIRGINITY LOSS FTW.

Shit I always am most hyper before going to sleep,

must look into that sometime.

For I am looking at the world in a different light.

Confirmation of a greater power, higher force,

God`s existence affirmed.

EPIPHANIES EPITOMIZE SURREALITY.

Profound impacts, human lackadaisicalness, ignorance,

indifference, 

almost relishing red highlighting of mispellings

MALAPROPISM HEHE DOGBERRY SHAKESPEARE I`M AN ASS.

Ok back on track...uhm lezseeee

Ooh Seal! Love my Big, yup, yup, I love my big. one she`s the...

Ok official poster blog for A.D.D. WOW

ASIAN DRIVING DISORDER THAT IS.

Lalala eurgh I can do this?

Cannot sit back while changes are to be made,

helplessness, need to focus on lighter subjects sets me apart.

Ugh I must be forgetting something.

Oh well, the reason behind my reluctance to blog in any other style

has been REVEALED. First attempt renders me utterly incomprehensible and DEVOID OF SUBJECTS. Rara, self convincing need to go into psychology. SIGMUND FREUD CARL JUNG JAJA.

Very crass, no not class, CRASS DAMNIT. Was right to think it to be of mere pretentiousness.

All good..forgetting correct euphemism of O.K.

GOT SICK FOR FORGETTING TO KNOCK ON WOOD.

LEMON honey tea and german crepes chocolate milk tea with tapioca pearls iHop and Fro-ggie`s and Q-Cup.

Mmmm satisfaction contemplation heh.

Too nice? Never.

Crash and burn is to Chopped and Screwed.

Wow this makes me look scatterbrained, am I..maybe, hope not.

...By changed, I was referring to my bladder.

FREEZE IT OFF.

N3gativity, world peace, intolerance, blah

HM? summat else side note...hoping to have covered everything.

Grass as hair pickcha. No me gusta texting, esp. SEXTING. Nevar, limited.

TWITTER IS THE ISH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE LOVE.

Initiative. Need to get out the bay and travel the world.

Effity, eff confession of admiration only serves to boost self-admiration.

Yea def written to determine unable to be understood.

Next time I shall attempt wholeheartedly.

Revenge is the opposite of progress, not congress.

Yes, I am alone in this world which I find completely acceptable,

and have yet to be proven wrong.

But it was the turning point, Oh that was a lonely night.

deuces...2:20 AM, I`M OUT. pais peas peace.

2.22.o9 - Versatility.

After the passing of this week, I have come back to terms with the reality that no, I won`t be getting any respite from daily life so I must accept this and proceed like usual instead of staying up out of rebellion, starting my homework at one, only sleeping for four hours. That I must go on with school makes it seem utterly mundane and leaves me feeling lackadaisical. Throughout English this week, however, we spent it in the Career Center receiving crucial information about applying for jobs, writing resumees, and determining which professions and colleges are best suited to us. The pitiable part about this is as of next year, it is very likely the students of MSJ will be left without counselors who can give us advice on the matters concerning our near future after graduating high school. Other than draining track practice, school has been fairly uneventful with the exception of ASB elections. After much contemplation and dilemma on who to vote for, a certain candidate presented himself to be a wild card for the presidential office, so for the most part, I`m hoping I voted well in making the decision not to vote for any sophomores so that they can stay our class officers. My logic behind this is that the other junior candidates are as capable as the sophomores, so by electing the juniors our class and our school are both benefitting. Now that preliminaries are over, it remains to be seen what the final outcome will be until this Friday.
Yesterday my friend left me three missed calls. I texted him saying "What`s the national emergency?"
His reply: "I`m leaving the nation for good." FML.
Today, I told my dad I wanted to be a lawyer.
He asked me three things:
"How do you know when a lawyer is lying?"
-When he`s moving his lips.
"What`s one lawyer in the ocean?"
-Pollution.
"What are all the lawyers in the ocean?"
-The solution.
FML.

2.16.o8 - Fragility.

Yesterday`s occurrence was sobering indeed. It makes one realize just how unstable life really is, and how quickly it can be taken away. To have your best friend`s grandmother who played a key role in your life pass away is no easy thing to go through. It makes me recall when my own grandmother passed. Happenings of this nature almost serve as an affirmation of why we should not dwell on the insignificant things, when what we have is so precious. Immaturity and inexperience lead people to focus all their energy on the most unimportant of matters when doing so makes them miss out on the bigger picture of life. I wish everyone understood how much more worthwhile it is to dedicate to making a real impact on the world around them instead of worrying about inconveniences that will have no effect in the long run. It`s as if living in the fear of the harshness of living, causes one to miss out on actually living life itself. I`ve come to see that as we grow, sometimes listening to what people think of us, can bring us to a better understanding of ourselves. It doesn`t always matter what they say though, one should use his or her own judgement as to what is worth changing about oneself. In conclusion, staying optimistic despite hardships, simply enduring, is what makes a person truly admirable.

My morning was occupied with a hastened rush to make purchases of sustenance to fulfill the basic needs of the upcoming week. When lunchtime neared, my dad picked me up to take me out to Chipotle to redeem the free burrito coupons we received from attending the SAP Saturday, which was a nice treat despite the overly large portions. Afterwards, I wiled the time away doing miscellaneous math problems to satisfy his needs to reinforce my concepts until it was time to visit my god-sister who has returned home for the weekend from UC Riverside. She was, of course, missing in action when we arrived, but it was fun catching up with her mom who strongly suggests I make the movie, "He`s just not that into you" my bible, as well as utilizing the time to select which textbooks and SAT prep books I could take from her no longer needed collection. She eventually returned from her impromptu shopping expedition, leaving us barely a few minutes to update each other on our lives, but seeing her brings me joy like no other older sister can bring. When she comes next month for a couple of weeks we will have enough time to have a much needed heart-to-heart that we hold periodically. Now that I`m back home, I`m filled with disappointment that today ends my three day weekend and would have preferred having a week off to look forward to, but one can`t have everything.

2.15.o8 - Opinions.

Lately, it`s been on my mind about why I should care about what other people think of me. Some believe everyone`s biggest fear is to be laughed at by others, which I suppose is true. In reality, if one has enough confidence, others` opinions shouldn`t matter unless they have an influence on oneself or a substantial relationship exists between two people. I`m not sure whether it`s confidence or arrogance, but generally what others think does not matter to me. This does not mean it doesn`t interest me, but the only reason any kind of input would make a change in how I act is because I want to make others perception more accurate of me. This in itself may be a contradiction, because I can`t control what others think, instead I can only carry on with my behavior. I would only change for someone I truly care about, but above all I think people should only change to better themselves. Hopefully I will gain a better understanding once I have a more developed personality and a broader perspective of life. For now, my concern resides in the firetruck and ambulance that pulled into my complex a few minutes ago and still have not exited...

I should have known such an omen starting off the day would not bode well. The day started on an off note, with my being upset over a trivial conflict between my mother and I over my grades, a misunderstanding of expectations, assumptions, missed opportunities, and the like. I quickly got over it of course, because in the face of leaving the wrong impression on the outside world, one must always regain composure and put on a veneer to show that everything is all right. It was nice to have our family friends over again though, since I rarely get to see their younger son since he went off to college at USC, and his brother who is most like a brother to me and his not so new endearing young wife, who is also flying back to motherland for a vacation soon. I subsequently left to meet up with my friends to brainstorm for our group presentation on Renaissance fashion, which was around the time horror struck. The front tire of his car would burst making it spin out of control onto a curb, over a barrier, and into a tree. I thank God today he escaped out of his ruined car with a smoking engine with nothing more than injury to his neck and ribs. I got a call from my god-sister`s mother earlier asking me to come over to see her and go for a movie, but we had a friend`s surprise 40th birthday party to attend, all of during which he never left my mind. I can only hope a day like this will never happen again.