2.15.o8 - Opinions.

Lately, it`s been on my mind about why I should care about what other people think of me. Some believe everyone`s biggest fear is to be laughed at by others, which I suppose is true. In reality, if one has enough confidence, others` opinions shouldn`t matter unless they have an influence on oneself or a substantial relationship exists between two people. I`m not sure whether it`s confidence or arrogance, but generally what others think does not matter to me. This does not mean it doesn`t interest me, but the only reason any kind of input would make a change in how I act is because I want to make others perception more accurate of me. This in itself may be a contradiction, because I can`t control what others think, instead I can only carry on with my behavior. I would only change for someone I truly care about, but above all I think people should only change to better themselves. Hopefully I will gain a better understanding once I have a more developed personality and a broader perspective of life. For now, my concern resides in the firetruck and ambulance that pulled into my complex a few minutes ago and still have not exited...

I should have known such an omen starting off the day would not bode well. The day started on an off note, with my being upset over a trivial conflict between my mother and I over my grades, a misunderstanding of expectations, assumptions, missed opportunities, and the like. I quickly got over it of course, because in the face of leaving the wrong impression on the outside world, one must always regain composure and put on a veneer to show that everything is all right. It was nice to have our family friends over again though, since I rarely get to see their younger son since he went off to college at USC, and his brother who is most like a brother to me and his not so new endearing young wife, who is also flying back to motherland for a vacation soon. I subsequently left to meet up with my friends to brainstorm for our group presentation on Renaissance fashion, which was around the time horror struck. The front tire of his car would burst making it spin out of control onto a curb, over a barrier, and into a tree. I thank God today he escaped out of his ruined car with a smoking engine with nothing more than injury to his neck and ribs. I got a call from my god-sister`s mother earlier asking me to come over to see her and go for a movie, but we had a friend`s surprise 40th birthday party to attend, all of during which he never left my mind. I can only hope a day like this will never happen again.