A curiosity.

Censorship. ~ 5.2o.o9

2009-05-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

My tv isn`t clear and my radio`s fuzzy,

but it`s not reception that isn`t giving me what I wanna hear.

It`s the media and everything they omit,

never wanting to show us the real grit.

Here in this country we get freedom of speech,

but what about when a newscaster makes

exercising it his profession,

except all he really wants to do is suck

money like a leech?

Everyone thinks education will teach you

about your rights, but it`s more like

someone`s turned off the lights.

All that we get to hear is what won`t

cause any fear, but then how

are we supposed to learn from past mistakes

or do we genuinely want to prevent

the next genocide, or even a future

apartheid?

Flying ~ 5.3.o9

2009-05-12T03:05:00.000-07:00

i lie awake,
gazing at the moon,
wondering what you`re dreaming of,
wondering what you`re thinking of,
if you`re gazing back,
if it`s
me.

you open my mind,
guiding me to explore that which hides in the crevices of it,
those which i never even knew existed.
you make me feel like
yet another world awaits,
ready to be undiscovered by
us.

you make me want to fly
away to it together,
so that we can listen and talk
in turn, for endless hours
without a single care.
i once asked you if you knew that
there is more than one kind of love,
but did you know that there is really only one?
for me, it`s
you.

GUESS WHAT.

2009-03-31T07:27:00.000-07:00

I found out there`s finally something at school not blocked
by our internet that i actually like to do;
Blogging!
Yee, I`m excited now...
maybe I`ll update it more from here on(:
Kthxbai.

Animosity - 3.2o.o9

2009-03-21T00:13:00.000-07:00

MUST BRAIN DUMP BEFORE ALL PRECIOUS THOUGHTS SLIP OUT OF MY GRASP.

Eye for an eye, great minds think alike, be the change you want to see.

Today I am changed.

This is cos of The "Laramarie" Project.

Matt Shepherd OBSESSION...not in the way you think.

Oh the irony. Yes, this is a form of delirium

SLEEP DEPRIVATION VIRGINITY LOSS FTW.

Shit I always am most hyper before going to sleep,

must look into that sometime.

For I am looking at the world in a different light.

Confirmation of a greater power, higher force,

God`s existence affirmed.

EPIPHANIES EPITOMIZE SURREALITY.

Profound impacts, human lackadaisicalness, ignorance,

indifference,

almost relishing red highlighting of mispellings

MALAPROPISM HEHE DOGBERRY SHAKESPEARE I`M AN ASS.

Ok back on track...uhm lezseeee

Ooh Seal! Love my Big, yup, yup, I love my big. one she`s the...

Ok official poster blog for A.D.D. WOW

ASIAN DRIVING DISORDER THAT IS.

Lalala eurgh I can do this?

Cannot sit back while changes are to be made,

helplessness, need to focus on lighter subjects sets me apart.

Ugh I must be forgetting something.

Oh well, the reason behind my reluctance to blog in any other style

has been REVEALED. First attempt renders me utterly incomprehensible and DEVOID OF SUBJECTS. Rara, self convincing need to go into psychology. SIGMUND FREUD CARL JUNG JAJA.

Very crass, no not class, CRASS DAMNIT. Was right to think it to be of mere pretentiousness.

All good..forgetting correct euphemism of O.K.

GOT SICK FOR FORGETTING TO KNOCK ON WOOD.

LEMON honey tea and german crepes chocolate milk tea with tapioca pearls iHop and Fro-ggie`s and Q-Cup.

Mmmm satisfaction contemplation heh.

Too nice? Never.

Crash and burn is to Chopped and Screwed.

Wow this makes me look scatterbrained, am I..maybe, hope not.

...By changed, I was referring to my bladder.

FREEZE IT OFF.

N3gativity, world peace, intolerance, blah

HM? summat else side note...hoping to have covered everything.

Grass as hair pickcha. No me gusta texting, esp. SEXTING. Nevar, limited.

TWITTER IS THE ISH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE LOVE.

Initiative. Need to get out the bay and travel the world.

Effity, eff confession of admiration only serves to boost self-admiration.

Yea def written to determine unable to be understood.

Next time I shall attempt wholeheartedly.

Revenge is the opposite of progress, not congress.

Yes, I am alone in this world which I find completely acceptable,

and have yet to be proven wrong.

But it was the turning point, Oh that was a lonely night.

deuces...2:20 AM, I`M OUT. pais peas peace.

2.22.o9 - Versatility.

2009-02-22T11:50:00.000-08:00

After the passing of this week, I have come back to terms with the reality that no, I won`t be getting any respite from daily life so I must accept this and proceed like usual instead of staying up out of rebellion, starting my homework at one, only sleeping for four hours. That I must go on with school makes it seem utterly mundane and leaves me feeling lackadaisical. Throughout English this week, however, we spent it in the Career Center receiving crucial information about applying for jobs, writing resumees, and determining which professions and colleges are best suited to us. The pitiable part about this is as of next year, it is very likely the students of MSJ will be left without counselors who can give us advice on the matters concerning our near future after graduating high school. Other than draining track practice, school has been fairly uneventful with the exception of ASB elections. After much contemplation and dilemma on who to vote for, a certain candidate presented himself to be a wild card for the presidential office, so for the most part, I`m hoping I voted well in making the decision not to vote for any sophomores so that they can stay our class officers. My logic behind this is that the other junior candidates are as capable as the sophomores, so by electing the juniors our class and our school are both benefitting. Now that preliminaries are over, it remains to be seen what the final outcome will be until this Friday.
Yesterday my friend left me three missed calls. I texted him saying "What`s the national emergency?"
His reply: "I`m leaving the nation for good." FML.
Today, I told my dad I wanted to be a lawyer.
He asked me three things:
"How do you know when a lawyer is lying?"
-When he`s moving his lips.
"What`s one lawyer in the ocean?"
-Pollution.
"What are all the lawyers in the ocean?"
-The solution.
FML.

2.16.o8 - Fragility.

2009-02-16T02:29:00.001-08:00

Yesterday`s occurrence was sobering indeed. It makes one realize just how unstable life really is, and how quickly it can be taken away. To have your best friend`s grandmother who played a key role in your life pass away is no easy thing to go through. It makes me recall when my own grandmother passed. Happenings of this nature almost serve as an affirmation of why we should not dwell on the insignificant things, when what we have is so precious. Immaturity and inexperience lead people to focus all their energy on the most unimportant of matters when doing so makes them miss out on the bigger picture of life. I wish everyone understood how much more worthwhile it is to dedicate to making a real impact on the world around them instead of worrying about inconveniences that will have no effect in the long run. It`s as if living in the fear of the harshness of living, causes one to miss out on actually living life itself. I`ve come to see that as we grow, sometimes listening to what people think of us, can bring us to a better understanding of ourselves. It doesn`t always matter what they say though, one should use his or her own judgement as to what is worth changing about oneself. In conclusion, staying optimistic despite hardships, simply enduring, is what makes a person truly admirable.

My morning was occupied with a hastened rush to make purchases of sustenance to fulfill the basic needs of the upcoming week. When lunchtime neared, my dad picked me up to take me out to Chipotle to redeem the free burrito coupons we received from attending the SAP Saturday, which was a nice treat despite the overly large portions. Afterwards, I wiled the time away doing miscellaneous math problems to satisfy his needs to reinforce my concepts until it was time to visit my god-sister who has returned home for the weekend from UC Riverside. She was, of course, missing in action when we arrived, but it was fun catching up with her mom who strongly suggests I make the movie, "He`s just not that into you" my bible, as well as utilizing the time to select which textbooks and SAT prep books I could take from her no longer needed collection. She eventually returned from her impromptu shopping expedition, leaving us barely a few minutes to update each other on our lives, but seeing her brings me joy like no other older sister can bring. When she comes next month for a couple of weeks we will have enough time to have a much needed heart-to-heart that we hold periodically. Now that I`m back home, I`m filled with disappointment that today ends my three day weekend and would have preferred having a week off to look forward to, but one can`t have everything.

2.15.o8 - Opinions.

2009-02-15T00:34:00.000-08:00

Lately, it`s been on my mind about why I should care about what other people think of me. Some believe everyone`s biggest fear is to be laughed at by others, which I suppose is true. In reality, if one has enough confidence, others` opinions shouldn`t matter unless they have an influence on oneself or a substantial relationship exists between two people. I`m not sure whether it`s confidence or arrogance, but generally what others think does not matter to me. This does not mean it doesn`t interest me, but the only reason any kind of input would make a change in how I act is because I want to make others perception more accurate of me. This in itself may be a contradiction, because I can`t control what others think, instead I can only carry on with my behavior. I would only change for someone I truly care about, but above all I think people should only change to better themselves. Hopefully I will gain a better understanding once I have a more developed personality and a broader perspective of life. For now, my concern resides in the firetruck and ambulance that pulled into my complex a few minutes ago and still have not exited...

I should have known such an omen starting off the day would not bode well. The day started on an off note, with my being upset over a trivial conflict between my mother and I over my grades, a misunderstanding of expectations, assumptions, missed opportunities, and the like. I quickly got over it of course, because in the face of leaving the wrong impression on the outside world, one must always regain composure and put on a veneer to show that everything is all right. It was nice to have our family friends over again though, since I rarely get to see their younger son since he went off to college at USC, and his brother who is most like a brother to me and his not so new endearing young wife, who is also flying back to motherland for a vacation soon. I subsequently left to meet up with my friends to brainstorm for our group presentation on Renaissance fashion, which was around the time horror struck. The front tire of his car would burst making it spin out of control onto a curb, over a barrier, and into a tree. I thank God today he escaped out of his ruined car with a smoking engine with nothing more than injury to his neck and ribs. I got a call from my god-sister`s mother earlier asking me to come over to see her and go for a movie, but we had a friend`s surprise 40th birthday party to attend, all of during which he never left my mind. I can only hope a day like this will never happen again.

2.14.o8 - Proportionate.

2009-02-14T03:38:00.000-08:00

Today`s topic of speculation is of a simpler one, depending on how one looks at it. Honestly, the questions I want to know the answers to most, consist of the following;

How is the ratio of marshmallows to cereal determined in a box of Lucky Charms?

Why is there no consistent proportion of flavors in a pack of Gummy Lifesavers?

How is a red light violation fee amount determined?

Someday, I shall have my answers, but today is only Single Awareness Day, to call it Valentine`s is much overrated. Although, celebrating it does not make me a sadist.
I arose after a 14 hour sleep, and it was very refreshing and apparently needed after being exhausted from the week. The rest of the day was mediocre since the weather prevented any opportunity for tennis practice which meant it was filled with studying and SAT prep. In the evening my dad took me to see the SAP Open in which Andy Roddick played Stepanek, a player from the Czech. It was an intense match, with Roddick winning the first set, very nearly the second, but in the end losing the third and the entire game. I was disappointed because he let his emotions control his performance and his temper get the better of him, leading him to even throw his racket onto the court rendering it useless. Afterwards, the doubles set was cancelled due to Blake`s ankle injury so instead there was a match between an Indian player and his partner and another pair, for which we did not stay. Overall, it could have been a better day, but the rest of the weekend still remains.
No lewdness or novelties to report :/

2.13.o9- Dispensability.

2009-02-13T04:32:00.000-08:00

Ahh, on this fine morning I have been arisen by this time, the rain. Last night, however, it was a dream comprising of me being in finals week, which also happened to be tennis season. I believe it stemmed from my unpreparedness for math, in addition to empowerment from being on the team of a school sport. As for speculation, today`s topic is materialism. If objects` value primarily consist of sentiment, does that not mean that sentiment itself is the value? What I`m trying to say is, if no amount of money can replace an object due to it having sentimental value, is it not true that this means the memory itself gives it its value? So if the memory can be preserved, then is there no great loss when the end of the object`s time comes? If one object can have great sentimental value, then can`t the next object merely gain the same amount over time? I feel as though everyone who values material is putting on a facade to say the material has value to them psychologically, then the concept of materialism itself must all be psychological. Even personally, those objects that hold value to me, mainly do due to their purpose. If my iPod brings me solace because of its music, does any other object not hold the same value? To sum this all up, just about everything is dispensable as long as it is replaceable.

Today passed rather slowly and uneventfully, with the exception of the whole math fiasco. Yet another day went on, and it hasn`t been fixed due to the vice principal`s absence. I am hoping for sometime before fourth period on Tuesday it will be, since current math teacher said she`ll give me the test. I went to the career center at lunch, and apparently the work permit is turned in after you are hired with the employer`s signature, etc. Apparently, for my age group not too many job opportunities exist, but maybe working at Pizza Hut after my 16th is an option lol! Speaking of which, this weekend would be a good one to utilize to plan for that. My parents have already encouraged me to make a guest list and a venue, both of which are putting me in contemplation. I also have yet to take my permit test, and am also feeling the pressure to take that which means preparation. Today`s track practice was a change of pace [no pun intended,] since the coach`s son had gotten into a car accident and was not up to executing our planned workout. In lieu, we played a game of freeze tunnel with the sprints team which was immensely fun, except when I was the one tagging. We failed rather miserably since the group of people with March and April birthdays was so sparse. After, Lincoln Douglas lab also turned out to be preparation for those going to the Berkeley tournament this weekend, so I went home early since my dad was picking me up to bring me to his house in San Jose. I haven`t been here for a year now, and it`s a very odd feeling to return to a place so familiar after such a long time period. All in all, it could have been a better day, and so my wife and I have resolved to send each other roses next year to make it better.

Novel; The cortex is the part of the kidney that dilutes urine with water so we don`t excrete paste. [Thank you, APBio]

On a lewder note; Better to wear latex, because you don`t want that "I think I`m late, ex." :P

2.12.o9 - Insomniac.

2009-02-12T02:50:00.000-08:00

"You`re never fully dressed without a smile."
Yesterday led me to recall this expression as since I learned it, I feel it only reinforces my generally pleasant disposition. The one who knows me best describes me as "a happy soul", my mother, who believes it is also the cause behind my incessant singing. Sleep, or lack thereof, does wonders for the disposition. I don`t question the hours at which I`m awake, but when I am queried, however, I usually give the answers of either; "I`m nocturnal, or an insomniac." Technically, each is partially true, as my mother is a diagnosed insomniac resulting in a likelihood of me inheriting it genetically. As for the nocturnal answer, it`s not completely accurate since I have a tendency only to be up during the wee hours of the morning, and I seldom sleep during the day. Regardless of how much of this is true, sleep remains to be an activity I enjoy immensely, despite it seemingly being a waste of time, and I can spend endless hours performing it, and intermittently do.

Mixed input about my style of writing when blogging has also led me to some speculation. I have come to the conclusion that it is completely inappropriate and rather unprecedented. Yet, I have decided I will continue to proceed with it since it is actually a cultivation of over three years of fostering preceded by my first every blog entry on xanga, a record of my day, written completely in third person, also unprecedented. At one point, although I feel as if I have reached the point of no return, I may refrain from such formal writing, and instead resort to colloquial slanguage. I`ve been told the style exudes elegance, but is also much like attending school resulting in the audience being in complete boredom. This, I feel, is a subconsciously desired effect, as my intention is not to attract avid readers of this blog. In the future, I may change it to appeal to a wider audience.

My day could be summed up in one word: tumultuous. It started off with a change of pace: my mom dropping me off to school for the second time this year due to an appointment with my math teacher. I stayed for the first few minutes to review my math final and proceeded to leave for the library when the first period bell rang. Anxiety remained about the upcoming test in fourth period, but when I arrived, she brought me outside of the classroom to notify me that I would be transferring to the other Algebra II teacher and would not need to take it. This news soon morphed my day into becoming the best of my sophomore year, as I spent the rest of the day sharing it with everyone who cared. As suspected, it was too good to be true since when my mom picked me up [also a rare occurrence,] she told me that she had subsequently talked to my vice principal, who had determined Ms. Nguyen to not have the authority to make that decision. So the situation is unresolved, until a conference between her, the vice principal, and I is held. I had a mixture of relief and remorse for missing track practice today because I had a doctor`s appointment to diagnose what I now know is a corn on the ball of my left foot. My new doctor used a scalpel to remove some of the skin, and assigned salicylic acid to be cure it. This also means shoe shopping for me which could be the cause of the callus, which is also tantamount to possession of my first pair of Vans in the near future. A highlight in my day, occurred, of course, in English as when we picked up again the discussion of the "courtier" from yesterday. This time, we explored the female individual of the concept bringing us to the idea of make-up. Ms. Geers was describing her encounter with a woman who caused her to involuntarily jolt at her appearance. Just as she started to expound the details of the woman's shocking blue eyeshadow, we heard the piercing scream of a girl in the outside vicinity resulting in an outburst of laughter from the entire class, as it seemed choreographed with her telling. I`m being optimistic in hoping that my math test will be further postponed, but am not counting on it. Perchance my lack of textbook is merely wishful thinking on my part, but for now I will occupy myself with other subjects in anticipation for what tomorrow holds.

Novel; I haven`t grown any taller since my last measurement of 5'2".
On a lewder note; Preferred method of water conservation? Group showers! ;P

2.11.o9 - Anachronism.

2009-02-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those rare days where I didn`t start off with a smile on my face. I`m coming to realize physical exertion has that effect on me, but I`m sure once I become accustomed to it, it will no longer be an issue. Yesterday was the first day I tried out practice with the distance group of track, and as expected, I found the four mile run from school to Stevenson past Lake Elizabeth rather strenuous. It was however, the "light" workout and today we did another four mile run plus three hill intervals next to the fire station, not counting the mile for P.E. this morning. I`m not one to complain though, as although it can take its toll on my body, I still find my efforts fruitful. My day in general was mediocre, as they always seem to go when the weather is dreary. It began with my usual procrastination of Algebra II and English homework, only to lead me to recall of a Biology quiz subsequently resulting in my discovery of my missing video notes required for the work we turned in today. On top of that, was conveniently a Spanish quiz and what do you know, report card handing out time. Wasn`t anything unexpected thankfully, though as math would be the only class keeping me from a 4.0. In actuality, I scraped all of my other five A`s in the last week of the semester itself which as can be imagined, was rather stressful. Lunch was pleasantly consumed by the most random game of Carnelli which gradually grew into errant outbursts of any object imaginable. English, my favorite class of the day, was an enjoyable experience despite the fact that I didn`t finish annotating the reading in time. The discussion was the concept of the "courtier" the majority of which I could figure out on my own, participating previously knowledge. Topics for the upcoming project choosing didn`t go as planned, but I`m looking forward to starting research on the absurd fashion of the Renaissance. Tomorrow holds another dreaded algebra test, but I`m hopeful since the initiative I took to ask for help today has paid off immensely. Hopefully it will also hold an excerpt of my life that doesn`t appear to revolve around school and doesn`t exude pretentiousness as would be determined by a Renaissance man, or one of today, for that matter.
Novel; Shakespeare`s work entitled "Much Ado About Nothing" is a triple pun on noting, nothing, and no thing.
On a lewder note; What is a 6.9? Sexy time ruined by a period :P